I'm alive!
It's been forever and a day since I've posted a recipe on here and before I waltz back into the room unannounced, let me explain. Soooo.... college. Yeah, it's absolutely miserable right now. My Thanksgiving break was insane, considering that I was pretty much in charge of the whole Thanksgiving dinner and cleaning my totally destroyed kitchen. On top of that, all of my friends were home and I went overboard on making up for the past 4 months of extremely limited social interaction. If that wasn't enough, I have a theory that all of my professors met and divulged a plan to assign every single paper and project due the following week, obviously in an effort to make my life a living hell because they have some sort of personal vendetta against me.
So no, I haven't just disappeared and been laying in bed this whole time, checked out from the world. (Oh God, how I wish that was the case.) I've been living the past two weeks of finals on edge, having panic attacks in the middle of the library, bullshitting my final papers, and avoiding studying at all costs. Needless to say, it's been rough a few weeks. But alas, I've survived and only two finals are separating me from my Christmas break.
It's been really upsetting, because Christmas is totally my thing. When I say that I have actually cried because it wasn't Christmas, I'm not lying. (Yes, I really am that overdramatic in real life too.) The worst part about all of this? I've had multiple Christmas-themed recipes photographed and waiting to be posted since Thanksgiving, but no time to sit down and actually post them. You know what that means? It's gonna get all types of Christmassy up in here until the 25th.
For some reason, people always ask me for bark recipes around the holidays. (I wonder why anybody would want chocolate right now? Crazy people!) As much as I want to be the sarcastic asshole that I sometimes am and say something along the lines of "you do know that chocolate bark is literally just melted chocolate with random things from your pantry thrown on top of it," I restrain myself. To make up for my sassiness (or maybe just reinforce it), I'm providing not one, but four different recipes for literally just melted chocolate with not-so-random things from your pantry thrown on top of it.
Peppermint Bark
- 12 oz dark chocolate, chopped
- 12 oz white chocolate, chopped
- 1 tsp. peppermint extract
- 6 candy canes, crushed
Directions
In a microwave, heat the dark chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted dark chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes.
Melt the white chocolate using the same heating process. Once melted, mix in the peppermint extract and stir to combine. Pour the melted white chocolate over the dark chocolate layer. Top with crushed candy canes. Return to fridge to set before breaking into pieces to serve.
White Chocolate Gingerbread Bark
- 12 oz white chocolate, chopped
- 6 gingersnap cookies, crushed
- red hots
- gumdrops, cut in half
- christmas sprinkles!
Directions
In a microwave, heat the white chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and cover with the crushed gingersnaps, red hots, gumdrops, and sprinkles. Refrigerate until set.
Hot COCOA BARK
- 12 oz milk chocolate, chopped
- 1/4 cup mini marshmallows
- 1 tablespoon hot cocoa mix
- mini white chocolate chips (optional)
DIRECTIONS
In a microwave, heat the milk chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and cover with the mini marshmallows and white chocolate chips. Sprinkle the bark with the hot cocoa mix. Refrigerate until set.
Cranberry Pistachio Chocolate Bark
- 12 oz milk chocolate, chopped
- 1/4 cup dried cranberries
- 1/4 cup roasted salted pistachios
- mini white chocolate chips (optional)
Directions
In a microwave, heat the milk chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and cover with toppings. Refrigerate until set.