a holiday bark foursome

I'm alive! 

It's been forever and a day since I've posted a recipe on here and before I waltz back into the room unannounced, let me explain. Soooo.... college. Yeah, it's absolutely miserable right now. My Thanksgiving break was insane, considering that I was pretty much in charge of the whole Thanksgiving dinner and cleaning my totally destroyed kitchen. On top of that, all of my friends were home and I went overboard on making up for the past 4 months of extremely limited social interaction. If that wasn't enough, I have a theory that all of my professors met and divulged a plan to assign every single paper and project due the following week, obviously in an effort to make my life a living hell because they have some sort of personal vendetta against me. 

Peppermint Bark - the classic.

So no, I haven't just disappeared and been laying in bed this whole time, checked out from the world. (Oh God, how I wish that was the case.) I've been living the past two weeks of finals on edge, having panic attacks in the middle of the library, bullshitting my final papers, and avoiding studying at all costs. Needless to say, it's been rough a few weeks. But alas, I've survived and only two finals are separating me from my Christmas break. 

Cranberry & Pistachio Bark with Mini White Chocolate Chips because why not! 

It's been really upsetting, because Christmas is totally my thing. When I say that I have actually cried because it wasn't Christmas, I'm not lying. (Yes, I really am that overdramatic in real life too.) The worst part about all of this? I've had multiple Christmas-themed recipes photographed and waiting to be posted since Thanksgiving, but no time to sit down and actually post them. You know what that means? It's gonna get all types of Christmassy up in here until the 25th. 

Gingerbread Man Bark — crushed gingersnaps, gumdrops, red hots, and extra Christmas sprinkles!

For some reason, people always ask me for bark recipes around the holidays. (I wonder why anybody would want chocolate right now? Crazy people!) As much as I want to be the sarcastic asshole that I sometimes am and say something along the lines of "you do know that chocolate bark is literally just melted chocolate with random things from your pantry thrown on top of it," I restrain myself. To make up for my sassiness (or maybe just reinforce it), I'm providing not one, but four different recipes for literally just melted chocolate with not-so-random things from your pantry thrown on top of it. 

Enjoy! 

Hot Cocoa Bark — milk chocolate, mini marshmallows, white chocolate chips, hot cocoa dust

---

Peppermint Bark 

• 12 oz dark chocolate, chopped
• 12 oz white chocolate, chopped 
• 1 tsp. peppermint extract
• 6 candy canes, crushed

Directions  

In a microwave, heat the dark chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted dark chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes.

Melt the white chocolate using the same heating process. Once melted, mix in the peppermint extract and stir to combine. Pour the melted white chocolate over the dark chocolate layer. Top with crushed candy canes. Return to fridge to set before breaking into pieces to serve. 

White Chocolate Gingerbread Bark

• 12 oz white chocolate, chopped
• 6 gingersnap cookies, crushed 
• red hots
• gumdrops, cut in half
• christmas sprinkles!

Directions

In a microwave, heat the white chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and cover with the crushed gingersnaps, red hots, gumdrops, and sprinkles. Refrigerate until set. 

Hot COCOA BARK 

• 12 oz milk chocolate, chopped
• 1/4 cup mini marshmallows
• 1 tablespoon hot cocoa mix 
• mini white chocolate chips (optional)

DIRECTIONS

In a microwave, heat the milk chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and cover with the mini marshmallows and white chocolate chips. Sprinkle the bark with the hot cocoa mix. Refrigerate until set. 

Cranberry Pistachio Chocolate Bark 

• 12 oz milk chocolate, chopped
• 1/4 cup dried cranberries
• 1/4 cup roasted salted pistachios
• mini white chocolate chips (optional)

Directions

In a microwave, heat the milk chocolate in 30 second intervals, stirring in between, until smooth. Pour the melted chocolate onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper and cover with toppings. Refrigerate until set. 

Honeycomb Chocolate Bark

We need to celebrate. I've officially completed three weeks of school without having a mental and/or emotional breakdown. Cue the applause!

No but really, time management is a really terrifying thing. I was so lucky to have had the chance to manipulate my schedule so I could have no classes on Mondays or Fridays this semester. Hooray for four day weekends every week! Still, there are consequences. Like really long days. 

My school days usually look something like this: I wake up at 7 on a good morning, make myself look vaguely presentable, and then head out of the door and begin the hour-long trek to campus. This part of my morning is surprisingly refreshing, mainly due in part to my lip-sync performances to Mariah Carey's Number Ones album, complete with full hand choreography. (Always Be My Baby, Fantasy, and Emotions are part of the three-part encore setlist, just incase you were wondering.) After zigzagging my way through the thirteen song set, I'm pulling into the parking garage at school and off to my classes from 9:30 until 6:10. Then I sprint off campus, because being there for 8 hours is absolutely nauseating, and head back home. When I get back, I shove something down my mouth, and then go straight to the gym because well, I have to balance the sugar out somehow. By 9:30, I'm back home and ready to shower and get into bed. From there, I'll do as much homework I can physically/mentally/emotionally handle before passing out and repeating the cycle the next two days. 

I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining. Baking, blogging, and the food industry are my true passions and nothing makes me happier. But, managing a food blog while juggling school, work, whatever is left of my social life, my health and sanity — it's a lot. But it's what I love, so I find little pockets of time throughout my day that I can devote to keeping my blog afloat: During my lecture classes, I multitask going through my notes, commenting on new blog posts from my favorite bloggers, and managing social media for my site. (Please don't tell my teachers this.) Also, I'm doing this new thing where I (try to) do all of my baking on Fridays. This gives me ample time to test out recipes, binge eat cookie dough, photograph my desserts, and get my posts ready for publication. It doesn't always work out, and by Wednesday night, I'm eager to get back into the kitchen. Sometimes I give in, but this generally leads to a lot of rushing and the inevitable baking fails. (Side note: I'm toying with the idea of creating a new section of the blog called the Cake Graveyard, where I can share my most embarrassing baking fails. Like this really sad cake that took its own life, plunging to her death on my stovetop.) 

A week ago, I made a giant batch of honeycomb candy to use as a cake topping. The cake never got that far, so I repurposed my candy into a chocolate bark. If you haven't had honeycomb candy, shame on you! It's a super easy recipe with a huge payoff. There's even a bit where you throw a bunch of baking soda into your boiling sugar mixture and the whole lot foams up into a huge bubbly mass and you rush to pour it onto a sheet pan. The baking soda helps create the candy's airy and crunchy texture and is pretty much the closest thing to a science experiment you'll ever experience in your own kitchen. The candy is great on it's own, but enveloped in chocolate, it's damn near mind-blowing. 

---

Honeycomb Chocolate Bark 

• 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup water
• 3 tablespoons honey
• 1/3 cup light corn syrup
• 4 teaspoons baking soda
• 16 oz. semisweet, dark, or milk chocolate (I used a mixture of 70% dark and Callebaut milk)

In a large pot, combine the sugar, water, honey, and corn syrup over medium hit. Boil the mixture until it reaches 300 F on a candy thermometer, the mixture will be amber in color. Remove from heat. Sift in the baking soda and stir gently with a wooden spoon. Don't be scared, the mixture will foam up a lot. Pour mixture onto a parchment-lined baking pan and let cool. Once cool, break into pieces and set aside.

In a bowl over simmering water, melt chocolate until smooth. Pour onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. Quickly arrange pieces of honeycomb throughout the chocolate. Refrigerate until set. Store in an air-tight container at room temperature or from the refrigerator.